Memories
by i Love Lawliet
Summary: She remembers growing up with him in the orphanage. He had been her best friend and one love, but she leaves before she could tell him her feelings. when she becomes involved in the Kira case, how will she react when he sees her as nothing but a stranger?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

"Come _on _Marie!" one of the girls urged her, "a dare's a dare, you've got to do it!" she said.

"This is a stupid game" Marie pouted, starting to regret coming to the slumber party after all, "Don't you think we're a bit old for truth-or-dare?" she complained.

"Quit trying to chicken out!" another girl said, "you picked dare, now you've gotta do it."

"But all Angela had to do was knock on a door and run off," Marie complained, "and you three can't seem to understand that we're just friends! Nothing more."

"You're the only one, no one else talks to him, and he doesn't talk to anyone else. He's too intimidating," Angela shivered, "and for goodness sake, Marie, it's just a kiss!"

"But none of you have to kiss your best friend! If I do it, then things would get weird between us… L's my best friend, I'm not risking that for a stupid dare" Marie stated proudly.

"Chicken." Irene muttered, " At least he's not ugly, Marie. If you ask me, he's quite good-looking." She said with a blush receiving a giggle of agreement from the other girls, Marie smirked, L was definitely going to find out about this. "we could have paired you up with much, much worse" she giggled.

"Fine," Marie said, stiffly, leaving the girls in a fit of giggles. Outside of the door, she cracked a grin, herself. Little did the other girls know, but Marie intended on telling L everything that happened at the slumber party sooner or later, including her need of a kiss.

Marie walked down the long hallways until she finally arrived at the door to his room. She knocked only once, knowing that he would hear, and immediately heard a shuffling from inside the room. Soon, the door swung open, revealing L.

The girls were definitely right saying that L was good-looking, though she would never admit it. His jet black hair covered up his onyx eyes that stood out against his chalky skin in a way that was almost hypnotizing. He would probably look better if he didn't always look like he was about to fall asleep on the spot.

"Slumber party done already?" L asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"Not exactly…" Marie said, stepping into his disorganized room which was littered with wrappers from sweets, papers and laundry. "You really should clean this place up, it's disgusting."

He ignored her comment about his room with a mere shoulder shrug, "so if the slumber party isn't over," he questioned, "what are you doing here?"

"Speaking of slumber party, I just survived a conversation about how good-looking you are, I nearly threw up!" she joked with a grin.

He grimaced slightly in embarrassment, if there was anything L hated, it was mindless compliments. "That's what you came here for?" he asked, seeing straight through my stalling.

'damn, he's too smart!' she thought. Marie twirled a strand of her black hair and looked up at L with innocent blue eyes. He shifted his weight uncomfortably and folded his arms in a defensive position. "What do you want?"

A small smile spread on her face, "a favor" she said.

"Well?" he asked, still in his defensive position, he did not like where this was going.

"Well, you see, we were playing truth-or-dare…" she started, hesitantly. What if he refused? What would she tell the girls? She got turned down by L? How would this affect their friendship? Why did her feelings hurt at the thought of him turning away from her and coming up with some lame excuse not to kiss her? "… They can't seem to comprehend that we're just friends…" she continued, unable to say the rest.

"You have to kiss me, don't you?" he said, bluntly. She sighed, for once, thankful that he wasn't stupid… and ugly.

"Sort of, yeah" she said, grinning sheepishly.

"… and there's no way out of it?" he asked. Marie was afraid that there was a look of hurt on her face, because he then said, "if not, there really isn't much we can do but oblige. Lets keep this strictly business, shall we?" he said, exasperated.

"Agreed." She said.

Standing face to face, the two best friends stood in an awkward silence, simply staring at one another, trying to decipher the other's thoughts. L finally moved ever so slowly lifting his had towards her face, but pausing inches from it, and letting it drop to his side with and exasperated sigh.

"What's the matter, L? First kiss?" Marie teased, attempting to hide her own hesitance and awkwardness.

L actually laughed at this remark, "Please, Marie, I'm 17. Of course this isn't my first kiss." He said, "You?" he added with a smirk.

"I… err… I'm… just… I've… uh…" Marie stuttered, much to Marie's embarrassment, this was her first kiss and L was well aware of that as his smirk grew into a full grown grin. She sighed. "Let's just get this over with, L" she said, suddenly putting both of her hands on the side of his face and standing on her tip-toes while still forcing him to lean over in order to reach his pale lips.

Marie was not prepared for what came with that kiss. Her face suddenly felt hot and her eyes were snapped shut. She was afraid to open them and see his shocked expression. The kiss lasted longer than what courtesy allowed, but Marie found herself content with the feeling of his smooth lips pressed against hers. She moved her hands from his face and down to the sides of his neck just above his soldiers. His arms were place firmly at his sides not even taking notice to the way she held him. She longed for those arms to wrap around her and feel the muscles in his arms that she knew he had but kept hidden to tense at her touch as hers did when he was near. She wanted him to show some sort of affection back to her, but found herself kissing and emotionless statue that looked like her L. In a feeble attempt, Marie's tongue tried to pry its way into his mouth but it was met with pursed lips. Finally, he easily broke her vice-grip and pulled away, forcing her hands, which had been running through his hair, to return to her sides.

"I thought we agreed it was to be strictly business?" L said, quietly.

"I'm sorry" Marie mumbled, embarrassed by her uncontrolled actions.

"What's wrong with you, Marie?" he asked, his tone was not angry, as she expected. It showed worry and curiosity. "You've been acting oddly lately." He said.

"Have I?" she asked.

"You know you can trust me with whatever is bothering you, right, Marie?" he worried more.

"Of course, L" she said, still not making eye-contact with him, and of course he noticed.

"Now get back to your slumber party, I'm sure those girls are waiting for a play-by-play of my kissing expertise." He joked, smiling at her. she looked up and smiled back,

"I'll give you a good review."

"Thanks," he grinned as she stepped out of his room and he softly closed the door leaving her in the dark hallway alone.

'L…" she thought, 'how can I trust you with what's bothering me, if you're the one bothering me?' she slumped slightly as she walked back to her room, she had to put on a impassive face for the girls, but in reality, her mind was constantly wondering 'how could I have fallen for L? My best friend!"


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: three stars () means a change in perspective

Chapter 2.

Halloween at the Whammy House always called for celebration. Drawings of witches and ghouls by the younger children covered the walls. Small children ran around collecting sweets while the older orphans acted as though it were no different than any other day, though when no one was looking they would quickly snatch up any sweets they could find.

But while the strange feeling of Halloween sent shivers down the spines of most children, Marie found that it was a day for celebrating.

"Happy Birthday, L!" she said when she found him chewing on a cupcake at a table in the corner of the cafeteria by himself.

"Shut up!" he said, quickly checking to make sure no one had heard her.

"Why don't you want anyone to know it's your birthday, L?" she asked.

"I don't like people knowing that much about me" L muttered, "It's dangerous for too many people to know too much about you."

"What's the worst that could happen from someone knowing you birthday?" she asked, dumbfounded at his secrecy.

"Well…" he mused with a frosting covered thumb on his lip, "Say that I told many people that it was my birthday. Then, of course, they would tell more people, people I wouldn't want to know, an enemy, you might say. Then, if people like me enough, they would want to spend time with me on my birthday, giving said enemy a chance to attack myself and those who care about me when our guards were down," He finished.

Marie was silent for a moment, "You over-analyze things too much, L." she said finally, causing him to smile, "And besides, the way you're going in life, I'll be the only one at that birthday party" she joked.

"Then you'd be the only one who mattered." He said as though it were the simplest thing in the world. Marie hated how her heart fluttered and it was hard to breathe when he said this, she hated being in love with her best friend. It only complicated things.

"So," I said, attempting to change my thoughts about him, "what do you want to do for your birthday?"

"Nothing" he said immediately, "at least nothing out of the ordinary," he said, seeing me frown, "people might get suspicious as to why we would be doing anything we wouldn't usually do"

"They might just think we're having fun for Halloween" I said. He looked at me as though I were stupid. I hated it when he looked at me like that, I hated that he was so many times smarter than me and he often expected me to know everything he knew.

"Do I seem as though I were the type of person who would 'have fun for Halloween'?" he asked. I blushed. I guess I should have realized that.

"I suppose not" I admitted. I tried to keep a straight face, but he smiled his adorable smile that forced the corners of my mouth to turn up.

"hmm," he mused again, "Well, I suppose we could—" but I never found out what he was going to say, because he was cut off by an older girl calling my name.

"Marie!" she said, hurrying over to the table we sat at, "Mr. Whammy would like a word with you immediately!" she told me.

"What is it about?" I asked, uneasily. Was I in trouble for something? I couldn't recall doing anything I shouldn't have.

"I'm not sure" the girl frowned.

"Alright then," I said, getting out of my seat, "I'll be back later, L, then we can celebrate" he smiled back at me.

"I'll be waiting" he said.

That was the last time I saw him.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Eight years have passed since I last saw L. I made the mistake of never finding out his last name before leaving. Turns out, the thing Mr. Whammy wanted to talk to me about was the couple who was adopting me. I was overjoyed to know that someone wanted me. For once, he didn't even cross my mind until we were on the plane to my new home in America.

I never even got to say goodbye.

And the last thing he said to me, "I'll be waiting". But how long would he wait for me?

Years passed, but he still remained on my mind. I dated men and a few times, I honestly thought I was in love, but then, memories of him would enter my mind and there was no point to the relationship.

But now, I've finally given up on my _true _love, L, and have settled for a man named Darrel Shose. We're engaged to be married this spring. Now L was running out of time and not a step closer to finding me than the day I left.

Darrel was a good man and I really did love him a lot, just not to the extent that I knew for a fact that I was capable of. Darrel's mother's side of the family originated in Japan, naturally, he insisted that we move there, had no complaints, the culture had always intrigued me. When in Japan, Darrel received a job with the local police. Along the line, Darrel ran into some trouble. He was arrested under suspicion of stealing confiscated drugs from the police station and giving them away to minors but was later released due to lack of evidence.

I was walking home from my job at a large business building when a large limo drove past, drenching my suit with muddy water. I growled to myself as I looked at the brown stain covering the front of my suit. The driver was lucky I hadn't gotten the license plate number, otherwise there would have been hell to pay.

I made my way into our small home and headed into the kitchen, where I began to prepare dinner for myself and Darrel. I heard the front door slam shut.

"Darry, is that you?" I called out. No one answered. I peered into the hallway to see the source of the noise. Darrel was in the front hall. He look very angry. His dark eyes were set on my face.

"Darry?" I repeated, fear growing inside me. Darrel was twice my size and could easily overtake me. "Are you alright?" I asked, coming closer, my trust in my fiancé was too great for me to fear him hurting me.

"You lying, cheating bitch!" he yelled, throwing a fist forward, colliding with my cheek. "How could you do this to me?!?" he roared so loud, I feared the neighbors would hear. Then again, I also hoped that the neighbors would hear.

"Darry, what are you talking about?!" I asked, I had no idea what he was talking about! I had never cheated on him!

"Don't LIE!" he yelled and threw another punch in my direction.

It continued like this for nearly an hour.

I was on the floor, bleeding and bruising in many spots. I had managed to crawl across the room into a corner, a lot of good that would do me, I thought. He was breathing heavily as he began to cross the room towards me.

Suddenly, he grabbed his gun out of his police belt and his breathing became a wheezing sound. He put the gun to his head and pulled the trigger without a second thought or even flinching. He fell to the ground.

Darrel was dead.

I hurried to the phone and called the police. This couldn't be my Darrel! He would have never done that to me. Something had been controlling him. Or in better words, _someone _had been controlling him. Was my hypothesis correct?

The police were there and removed his body. I told them what happened and how I thought that he wasn't acting like himself, and how he suddenly had a turned and killed himself. I heard one of the officers say something like "well, at least it's not another Kira killing, it seems we've got enough of those on our hands." But how wrong this officer was. Kira had killed Darrel, I knew it.

At that moment, I vowed revenge on Kira. He would be caught. And I would be the one to do it.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I couldn't believe that Darrel was dead. At first, my mind refused to accept the fact that Darrel wouldn't be coming home that night. When they took away his body, I fell to the floor.

Kira killed Darrel. Kira was going to pay.

I was in the police office. I had to report Darrel's odd behaviors. The officers that came to the house hadn't recorded my statement about his behavior being out of character. They claimed that it happened all the time; women don't usually suspect their husbands of being abusive.

But the day Darrel is abusive to me for the first time ever, he happens to suddenly kill himself without a single thought? Darrel had never shown any sign of suicidal thoughts and for him to just kill himself without even pausing like that? What are the odds of that happening? No… It seems as though Kira can do more than just control the actions of a person, he can control their death.

"Excuse me," I said to the man at the front desk, "But I would like to see the one in charge of the Kira case"

"I'm afraid that's not possible, Miss, we can't leak that in formation…. Even if we knew it…." He mumbled.

I started at him, Confused. "Is there any way to contact them at all? I have some information." I said.

"Well, they did leave behind a number… but I'm not sure if it's for emergencies or not…" he said, unsure.

"May I use that number, it is rather urgent" I requested.

"I'm not sure…" he said. How useless was this man? I had enough of his idiocy, was going to get mean fast if he didn't give me that number.

"Listen!" I said, slamming my hand down on the counter, making the small man jump, "This could be a matter of life or death! Without this information, people could DIE! Do you want to live with that guilt? Or do you want to help save lives? It's your choice, you can help me or not" I said, angrily. My plan had worked. The man had shrunk into his chair in fear and was quickly writing down a number from off his computer screen.

"Please don't tell anyone it was me if you aren't supposed to have this number" he said.

Once outside the building, I pulled out my cell phone and called the number on the paper. I rang only once, and then a stiff voice answered.

"This is Watari of the Kira investigation, how may I be of service?"

"I have some information regarding the Kira case" I said.

"Please hold, while I put you through to the director." The voice named 'Watari' said.

There was a silent pause followed by a few beeping noises before I could hear static in the background of the phone, "This is the head of the Kira investigation" said a cool, deep voice that sent tingles down my spine. Why was this man's voice giving me such a feeling?

"I—I—I'm—uh..." I stuttered, "My name is Marie Swanson, I have information the Kira case that I believe could be helpful to you." I said, the confidence I had before was suddenly gone.

There was a pause on the other side of the line, "Could you please repeat your name, Miss?" the voice asked, politely.

"Marie Swanson… I live here in Japan and—" I said, but the voice cut me off.

"Stop! Do not reveal so much about yourself. What makes you think that I couldn't be Kira? Do not throw your identity about so loosely, he could be nearby" the voice scolded.

I could feel the blush on my face. Of course. How many times had _he _told me not to give away too much about myself? I silently thanked that this conversation was over the phone.

"Where are you?" the voice asked.

"Uh.." I said, suddenly unsure.

"It's alright, you can tell me this" he assured.

"Yuo street, outside of the police station" I said, expecting him to scold me again for giving away my whereabouts so easily.

"Very well, two blocks from there, there is a park. I want you to wait on the bench on the left next to the light post. Sit on the left side of the bench with you left arm on the armrest and your right hand on you left knee. I will send a subordinate to speak with you in ten minutes."

The line was suddenly dead. I was lucky to remember the directions.

"So, L, who do you plan on sending to speak with this 'Marie' girl?" Matsuda asked.

"Actually," L said in his cool voice, "I plan on going myself"

"L! That could be dangerous, we don't know who this girl is!" Yagami said.

"Quite the contrary, I believe" L muttered.

"L," Watari said, turning looking at L in disapproval, "I fear I must object as well."

"I don't see why." L stated with no emotion, "It seems it would be 'hitting two birds with one stone' as they say."

"L I have no idea how many times I can apologize for what I've done, but please, the odds of it being her are unlikely! Please send someone else" Watari said.

"But there's no way that anyone would suspect that I was L without introducing myself as such, I don't exactly look the part," he said, smiling, "and I have no idea what you would be apologizing for, Watari, you've done no wrong to me." he stated rising from his crouch in his chair and leaving the hotel room for the first time in days.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I sat at the bench as the voice on the phone had instructed and waited. The wait seemed to take forever though it had barely been five minutes. I was extremely nervous for a reason that I couldn't explain. I saw a man with light brown hair, the same shade as Darrel's with a woman long black hair, much like my own. I was immediately aware of what I needed to do. I had to catch the person who took all of my happiness away. I had to make Kira pay for killing Darrel, as well as all of the other people he had killed.

I saw a figure coming down the path towards where I was sitting. I was nervous again. Damn, I thought. I felt a sudden itch on my nose. It was one of those itches that come the moment you aren't allowed to move. If I moved from my odd position on the bench, then the person sent by the investigation team would think that I wasn't the person they were looking for and walk past.

I soon found that the person sent was a man. He had stopped directly in front of me. He was tall with a mess of raven black hair which covered his eyes. He was dressed in a loose-fitting, long-sleeved, white shirt and baggy pants and no shoes. No shoes? I thought, how odd.

Something about him seemed so familiar. Obviously, this was the subordinate that the force was sending. He seemed to refuse to look directly at her. He kept his eyes buried behind his hair and his head tilted down towards his feet.

"Are you Marie Swanson?" he asked in a cool voice, scratching his foot with the other in a very familiar way.

"Y-yes" I stuttered. Why am I stuttering?

"You have information regarding the Kira case?" he asked. What was with all the questions?! Couldn't he at least look at me?

"Yes. I have a theory" I told him.

"The investigation is open to you theories" he said, still not looking at me.

"I think… that Kira is capable of killing by means other than heart attacks" I said.

"What makes you think that?" he asked, still not looking at me, but I could tell from his voice that he was interested in what I had to say.

"Um, I'd rather not say in such a public place, you really never know who is listening." I said, nervously looking at the couple who were still walking nearby and a group of children playing a ways off being watched by a group of teenagers.

He nodded. "Understandable. If you would please come to this address," he said, taking my hand in his cool, pale hands, and lightly writing on it with a marker. I could feel my face turning red, luckily he still hadn't looked at me. I wondered why. He continued to speak, I was lucky to catch his words, "in fifteen minutes, as so that we may discuss the matter." He said releasing my hand. Tingles ran through my hand from his touch and though his hands had been quite cold, mine now felt as if they had been dunked into a bucket of ice. He turned to leave.

"Wait!" I said, before I knew what I was doing, he paused, but didn't turn around. "Why have you not even looked at me this whole time? Is it because you fear that I'm Kira and that if I see your face, I may be able to kill you?"

"No," he said, "It's more that I'm afraid… afraid of being disappointed," and with that, he walked away, leaving me to ponder his words. Who _was _that guy?


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: MY BAD!_

_alright, so some changes have been put in thanks to a reviewer, I had changed what happened in chapter 3 and forgot to post it up on here before continuing with the story so Darrel did NOT die of a heart-attack. He killed himself, anyone who read he died of a heart attack, I recommend re-reading chapter 3. Sorry for any confusion. shrugs innocently oops on my part!_

Chapter 6

It had been nearly fifteen minutes since I met with the strangely familiar man from the force and I found myself standing outside an expensive hotel building. I walked in through the sliding glass doors and made my way to the elevator.

Up on the top floor, I made it to the room specified on my hand and knocked on the door, suddenly nervous again.

The door was opened and I was greeted by a young man who introduced himself as Matsuda. I followed him into the sitting room of the hotel where two computers were set up surrounded by mountains of papers.

"Ah, you must be Miss Swanson," a man sitting at one of the computers said, shaking my hand "I am Yagami-san, head of this investigation"

"Nice to meet you" I said, had this been the man on the phone? No… it wasn't the same voice.

"L will be out momentarily, he has gone off to the kitchen to get some sweets" Matsuda said with a laugh.

I tried to laugh, but the sound that came out of my mouth sounded forced and unreal. Had he said 'L'? Could it be the same L that I had known as a child? I highly doubted it. It would only be so lucky for it to be him and currently, luck was not a friend of mine. Darrel had just died days ago. I couldn't just run off and hope to find my child-hood love. Things didn't work like that here in the real world.

"Ah," said a voice coming from the doorway into what I assumed was the kitchen, "so my speculations were correct, you are, in fact the same Marie Swanson."

The voice sent a thrill down my spine just as it had done over the phone but this time it was even greater. It seemed so close and triumphant and now, I had a face to match to it.

My heart lurched. He looked the same as he always had, although perhaps a few years older, taller and more tired than I had ever seen him, but something about him made me want to leap for joy.

"L?" I asked, cautiously, my mind was a cruel thing that often played tricks on me like this.

"Hello, Marie" he said in his cool, monotonous voice though I could detect the sound of many sleepless nights in those two words.

Before I could control myself, I was across the room and ran into him with a thud. I heard the air being knocked out of his lungs from the force of my embrace causing him to fall backwards, only to catch himself against the doorframe. I sobbed all those year of heartache into his chest at that moment. I didn't care that he was obviously uncomfortable. I was finally reunited with my best friend who was now awkwardly patting my back asking what was wrong as if he had no idea all the pain I had been through because of him.

"Um, Marie, I can't really breathe that well with you hugging me like that" L said, finally.

"Sorry," I sniffled, "I just missed you so much" I released him looking at his face that now sported a confused look.

"You missed me?" he asked, "Why?"

I punched him in the arm playfully, he recoiled, "Why wouldn't I? You're my best friend!" I said, smiling but he only looked more confused.

"Marie, how can I still be your best friend? I haven't seen you in years. We're practically strangers now." He said, obviously not thinking to spare my feelings. Straight to the point, that's what L always was. He never took notice of other people's emotions, only worried about the logic. But my heart practically shattered because the fact was he was right.

He wasn't my seventeen-year-old best friend anymore. He was a grown man who had a life of his own that I was no longer a part of. He may have seemed the same at first, but this now showed that he was very different. My old L would have noticed how this statement hurt me before it even did and would apologize immediately. This fact only showed one thing:

L didn't care about me anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: sorry if characters seem a little OOC, I tried my best, so please don't flame too much…

i.L.L.

Chapter 7

I'm not going to lie to you. I was completely devastated by the fact that the feelings that I had harbored for so many years were unrequited. But I suppose things were better this way. It would have been wrong on so many levels if he did love me like I loved him, I would have never been able to say no to him and by doing that, I'd be throwing away everything that I had ever said to Darrel. I had vowed him revenge.

How was I going to get revenge for a man I supposedly loved if days after his death, I'm jumping into the arms of my child-hood crush?

"I'm really sorry, though. You're right" I said, glumly. "I hardly known you anymore" I frowned. He frowned too, at my dismay.

"Did I say something bad?" he asked, noticing the other workers in the room shaking their heads.

"No, it's fine. You're completely right, as usual, I was being stupid." I said, cursing myself in my head for blushing slightly.

"You had some information for us?" he asked, sitting in his chair in a strange crouch I had never seen him use before. That was another thing that changed about him. How he sat of all things!

"Yes, I do," I said, finally remembering the real reason I was here. I continued to tell the group of them my theory. I told them the story of what happened to Darrel, watching L closely but his face showed no emotion, only his own face deep in though with his finger in his mouth, the only familiar thing about him.

"That is a very interesting theory… to think, Kira being able to kill by means other than a heart attack…" L pondered out loud, "Though you do realize that there is no proof that Kira was actually behind this, but it has brought a very important matter to out attention"

"What?! What do you mean there's no proof! It's obvious that Kira is behind this!" I exclaimed, since when was L an idiot?

"I mean there's no proof that this is a Kira killing at all, your... Darrel, was it? Could have simply killed himself, though as I said before, it has brought the possibility to our attention." He said calmly. Damn! He was right… again.

"Oh…"I said, sadly.

"We thank you for your information; we hope it will be helpful. I'll have Matsuda escort you out of the building"

"Um, actually, I was wondering if… you could… for old time's sake…" I said.

He stared at me for a moment. Thinking, obviously, when wasn't he? For a moment, I swear I saw his dark eyes soften. They seemed to be the same as they were back when he was _my _L. I felt my heart rise into my throat. Could he care for me after all?

"I'm not sure if that's such a good idea, Miss" Sochiro said uneasily.

"No, it's fine." L said, walking over to the door and opening it for me. I walked past into the hallway. He silently closed the door behind him.

We walked down the hotel corridor silently for a moment. His hands in his pocket, eyes forward.

"L…" I said, he stopped and looked at me, "I'm sorry."

"What for?" he asked.

"For just leaving with out telling you, or even saying goodbye." I said, feeling the tears coming again, "if I hadn't done that, things wouldn't have turned out differently. We could still be friends and you would still care whether or not I was beaten by my fiancé or care that you saying that we were strangers hurt more than every punch Darrel had thrown at me!" I found my self yelling, tears streaming down my cheeks. I finally broke down in sobs.

I was sure I was about to fall to the ground as my knees gave out, but I found myself caught in two strong arms and pulled against his chest where I continued to sob.

I buried my face in his shirt again, inhaling his sweet scent in between my sobs. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. His arms tightly secured around me would not allow me to fall to the ground and I was perfectly fine with that. This was exactly how I wanted him to hold me all of those years ago when I first kissed him in his room. He held me as though I was made of glass.

"Marie," he whispered in my ear, "if either should be apologizing, it's myself. I had no idea how much pain I had put you through. I thought that since you left with out even speaking to me, that you didn't care what happened to me. It seemed unfair for me to care so much about you if you didn't for me, so I forced myself to forget you as best as I could. I'm sorry that he hurt you, if he were still alive, I would kill him," he said fiercely, I wanted to defend Darrel, but I remembered how L hated being interrupted and allowed it to pass this time, "I'm sorry that I hurt you," he continued, "If there's any chance that you'll forgive me, I'm willing to do anything."

"L…" I said, looking up at him. His eyes were utterly sincere. I don't know what came over me, then but I found myself doing what I had dreamt of doing for years. I pulled L's face down to my own and pressed my lips once again to his pale mouth.

For the first time in years, that hunger I had been feeling was satisfied as I pulled him closer to myself. But what shocked me the most was that I could feel him kissing me back. The feeling of his lips moving against mine was the greatest in the world. His long arms wrapped around me, pulling me even closer to him than I thought was possible. For once, he didn't push me away.

But the bliss had to end sooner or later. Slowly, he released me. He kept his long-fingered hands on my shoulders, holding me at arms length to examine my face. He softly brushed away the tears that were falling down my face with his pale fingers.

"Marie," he whispered, "You know that I do care about you, right?" he asked, suddenly desperate, "I'm not quite sure in what way yet, and I'm sorry for that, but you need to understand why no one can know of this. Anyone can find information on you at any time. And I can't put you in danger like that. Please, forget that you even saw me here" he pleaded.

I understood where he was coming from, but in my mind I absolutely refused to forget this moment. His sugary taste, his sweet smell, I would remember all of that until the day I died. But, I would never admit that to anyone, let alone him, so I said "I understand." I noticed him relax slightly but I could tell he was seeing through this as my eyes gave away my intentions.

Regardless, he leaned down and placed one last kiss on my lips before whispering, "Thank you" and turning to return to his hotel room, leaving me on the street outside of the hotel.

Of course I would never forget what happened, but I would take it to my grave. I swore to myself that I would see him again soon. And once the Kira case was over, things could be even better than they were when we were young.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Days passed and the bliss began to wear off. I began to wonder whether I would really see him again or not, but I refused to admit the possibility of him forgetting me all over again.

That would be too painful.

I know it's silly, but the days following my meeting with L were practically lived in a day-dream. I couldn't help it. Every spare second I had, I was staring far off into space pretending that I was in some imaginary world where Kira didn't exist and there was only L and myself.

But now I feel guilty. What about Darrel? Had he really meant so little to me that I could so simply throw away the memory of him for that of L? I truly thought that I had been in love with him. That was why I agreed to marry him. I wanted to love someone who loved me in return and Darrel gave me that opportunity. Now he was gone and I didn't even have the thing I had really wanted.

I didn't even have L. He hadn't even told me that he loved me. He said he wasn't sure about how he felt about me. At the time, it was the most wonderful thing I had ever heard him say since a second before that, we were strangers. But now… it seemed to me as though he were attempting to let me down easily.

If L won't love me, I don't know what I'll do. I'll probably give up all together. I've spent my entire life looking for him, now that I've found him, I can't have him. How unfair is that?

The way he kissed me really toyed with my emotions. He had been so unsure of himself. He hesitated with every move as if he were contemplating his actions and my reactions.

I know that he was trying to decide for himself how he felt for me and kissing me apparently didn't give him the affect he wanted because afterwards he was still unsure.

But what if he decided against me? He'd make up some lame excuse about it being too dangerous for me with him being L and that it was nearly impossible for us to have a happy ending, but I was willing to take that small chance at happiness all for him.

How corny did that sound? I knew I could never tell him this, he would think I was insane like he always did when I let my emotions guide my thoughts rather than my brain. That's what he was trying to do now. Let his brain decide what his emotions know best, that's why he hasn't come up with an answer yet. Logic won't tell him if he loves me or not and that was where he was looking for all the answers these days.

I tried to imagine him saying he loved me, but the more times I imagined it, the more ridiculous it seemed. Not only the thought of him loving me seemed unlikely, but the scenario seemed very out of character. I never heard L saying he loved anything, let alone a person, even as kids, he always "really enjoyed" things or "liked a lot", not exactly the kind of thing one tells a girl who admitted to loving you "I enjoy you" that's the most ridiculous line ever!

But it seems that I "enjoy" L far more than he ever could to me. I have to admit, I'm nothing special at all, really. Black hair down to my waist, blue eyes, pretty much an average girl you could find walking down any street and L was so… different.

Everything about him was mysterious and attractive, although he didn't play this up as much as he could so not many people noticed him. the way he sat made you wonder what led him to do that, his sweet-tooth made you wonder what about it he liked so much and the way he talked… that was my favorite thing about him.

Everything he said was straightforward although usually complicated and the annoyed look he got when forced to explain multiple times or whenever he was interrupted was talking was adorable. His deep, emotionless voice made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. His voice never betrayed his emotions, always provoking wonderings of what he was really feeling, not what he was thinking, but to him, they were the same thing.

But it seemed, as always, I would always "enjoy" him more than he "enjoyed" me.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: alright guys, I'm pretty much writing this as I go along now, I know how I'm going to end it, I'm just trying to add a little bit of length onto it so I don't disappoint my readers but I'm thinking I'm going to end this story at 10 chapters with the possibility of an epilogue... I'm just anxious to get this one finished since I've got another idea that won't leave me alone (I've pretty much written that entire story in my head) but I'm not going to write it until I'm finished with this one. Let me know what you think!**

** i.L.L.**

Chapter 9

When I woke up the next morning on the couch, I took a moment for me to realize my situation. When the memories came back to me, tears started to well up in my eyes. Pretty pathetic of me, huh? But what can I say, I'm mushy like that. But before the tears could fall out of my eyes, I heard a quiet knock on my door. I forced composure on my face before opening the door.

There was a cool breeze and the light sound of rain falling onto the pavement could be heard.

And there he was.

Drenched in rain he stood in front of my door. I was speechless. What could one say when someone you unrequitedly loved showed up covered in rain on your doorstep?

"I don't know why I'm here" he said in a confused voice, "I just went for a walk in the rain and I ended up here."

After a silence I realized it was my turn to talk but I still couldn't find my voice, I managed to let out a soft "Oh!" and stepped aside, allowing him inside, "Why don't you come in and dry off?"

"Very well" he said, walking in, hands in his pockets, back hunched over.

I went into the bathroom to get a towel. I handed it to him which he examined it as though it were the strangest thing in the world. "What am I suppose to do with this?" he asked.

What kind of question is that? How many things can one do with a towel? (Rhetorical question!) "Honestly!" I sighed and took the towel out of his hands and unfolded it, throwing it over his head and ruffling his hair. After a few minutes, his spiky raven hair was nearly dry. "Do you need some different clothes? You're probably freezing in that."

His dark eyes wondered up to the ceiling for a moment, thinking, before he said in his emotionless voice, "No, personally I'd rather not wear the clothes of a dead man."

I was shocked. I hadn't thought that far ahead. Of course Darrel's clothing was the only that would fit him and it was obvious that I had access to all of his clothing as we were engaged and anyone could guess that we lived together, not to mention it would be very awkward for him and myself for him to be wearing my fiancé's clothing two weeks after his death when my feelings for L were obvious to the both of us. If only his feelings were so well-known.

"I just don't want you to get sick." I explained. He nodded.

"Perhaps I'm over-exaggerating how strange it would be…" he pondered for a moment.

I went to the closet and was able to find a plain white shirt with long sleeves that I had never even seen Darrel wore. His pants weren't too unbearably wet and I doubt that any pair of Darrel's pants would fit him, he was so skinny.

I walked back into the living room where he was sitting and examining photos on the mantle. When he saw me coming with the new shirt, he started the process of taking off his soaking shirt.

I was surprised that someone as skinny and lanky as L could be so defined. His perfectly sculpted chest and arms were glistening from the moisture that soaked through his shirt and took all my might not to let my jaw drop.

This man was truly socially challenged. I suppose it came from all the years that he spent in that orphanage when I wasn't there or perhaps it happened gradually after I left and wasn't able to keep track of his behavior. Whatever the reason was, the fact was that he was standing in front of me shirtless and wet and more attractive than I had ever known him to be. I knew that I would be reliving this moment in my head multiple times after this but he thought that himself wearing Darrel's clothing would be strange? Was this not strange at all to him?

He looked up at me with those dark, emotionless eyes and reached one of his arms to take the shirt out of my hands. My first instinct was to resist and not give him the shirt. This caused my grip on the clothing to tighten. He must have noticed this because he gave me a questioning look. Once I was able to regain my thoughts, I released the shirt and he took it, putting his arms through the sleeves and pulling the shirt over his head and finally down to his waist, covering up his perfection.

"Thank you, Marie" he said, finally, breaking the tension, "you were right, this is better. Before, I had a 78 chance of catching some sort of illness."

I rolled my eyes, much like I did when we were younger, "you and your percentiles. I swear, certain parts about you are exactly the same and at other parts, it's like I'm talking to a completely different person than I knew" I said with a faint smile.

"I have changed, Marie, a lot" he stated. "And believe it or not, you have, also."

"I haven't changed at all," I mumbled.

"Quite the contrary," L mused, a finger in his mouth, thinking. "You've matured quite a bit over these years and you don't seem quite as foolish as you were before—"

"That simply comes with getting older" I interrupted.

The look of his annoyance soon passed from his face, he always hated be interrupted when he was speaking. "But you're so much stronger than you were back then, Marie. In all the years I knew you, I would have never guessed you could handle the death of a loved one so well. You've got your pride and you won't let anyone tarnish it." He said looking into my eyes.

Then I did what I swore I would never do in front of him again. The tears started coming. "I may look like I'm handling this well, but the truth is, I can put on a good act" I said, my voice squeaking from emotion. He looked at me with surprise. My knees started to shake and for the second time, they gave out except this time, he was too far away to catch me and I hit the floor with a 'thud'.

I wasn't alone on the floor for long. I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me into a comforting hug. I was too torn up to register that he was holding me again, I only thought of how life was cruel to give him back to me at a time like this.

"I'm sorry, Marie" he said, "I know that you and Darrel—"

"No." I cut him off, at the moment I didn't care if I irritated him, "It's not just that. It's you." I wheezed.

"Me?" he asked, confused.

"All this time, since I left, I've been waiting for you. Then I gave up and found Darrel and started to love him but now he's gone and I finally find you, who I wanted all along, at the most inopportune moment when I won't allow myself to have you!" I wailed against his chest but I was sure he caught every word judging by how stiff he had become.

"Marie…" he said, his voice, the softest I had heard it yet.

"I need you to… help me, L." I said, looking up at him, his face bewildered, "I need you to make me forget all of this!"

"I… can't" he said, weakly.

"Yes you can, I know you're the only one who can do that for me, only you can make it stop hurting!" I said, he looked slightly frightened by what I was saying, "Please?" I whispered to him. I felt a shiver run through him and I looked in his eyes, though he was trying to stay masked, an unknown emotion was starting to show in them.

I moved so slowly that he had time to think about it and make his decision as I wrapped my arms around his neck. When he didn't resist, I slowly pulled him closer. The emotion was now gone from his eyes and I feared that I would once again, come into contact with a statue of him.

But what I happened was very unstatue-like. Before I could even pull him to myself, I felt his lips crashing onto mine. He didn't bother taking his time or setting boundaries like he had before, his mouth moved ravenously over mine and he had immediately accomplished his task of making me forget because at that point, he was the only person in the world that existed for me.

Once the shock wore off, I kissed him back just as fiercely. His arms pulled me so tight against his chest that there was no resisting even if I had wanted to, yet his hands were still placed delicately on my back. I began to tug at the hem of the shirt he was wearing and he momentarily released me, allowing me to lift his shirt over his head. He raised his arms to allow the shirt to come off more easily and for the second time today, he was shirtless in front of me but in my opinion, this time was beetter better. My hands started memorizing the feeling of his chest and back outlining each of the defined muscles as he softly kissed my neck. I pulled him closer and managed to place a kiss on his collar bone and shoulder before his lips began to attack my jaw. My fingers ran through his raven hair and down his back. I found myself messing with the front of his pants as his delicate hands found their way up my shirt. I was perfectly content with what was happening.

Apparently, he wasn't.

Once he realized what I was doing with his pants and what he was doing up my shirt, he let out a sigh and pulled away.

"Marie," he said in his husky voice, out of breath, frowning at me, "I think that would be taking it a step further than what was required."

"How is it any different from what you were doing?" I asked, still gasping.

"I'm sorry." He apologized.

"I'm sorry, too" I said.

I was sorry.

Sorry he had such a strong hold on me.

**A/N: Wow that was a long chapter compared to the others… nearly 2000 words! Sorry if I disappointed anyone in this one, but it just wouldn't be the same if they went any further, it wouldn't make the ending the same… which I think is going to be next chapter… **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

** i.L.L.**


	10. Chapter 10: The End Part 1

**A/N: Second to last chapter! This one got too long so I split it in half. Just so you know, as I was writing this, I had my sad music playing and at the moment "iris" by goo goo dolls is playing which is such a pretty song and it sort of fits the chapter so that's kinda cool, anyway a lot of people were asking about L in this story so I gave you this one in hopes to satisfy some of your wonderings so enjoy!**

**For ****Junnina****, the best reviewer ever, for all of her support, help, and for translating my story into Italian (that's so cool).**

Chapter 10

I could not believe what had nearly happened on the floor of my living room. I was so embarrassed, that even if I had seen him again in the next few days, I was sure that I wouldn't even be able to look at him. But luckily, I hadn't seen him for nearly a week now and it was obvious he wouldn't be stopping by while on a walk anymore. Did I ruin the strange friendship we had established?

Life continued as it had before that day. I got up in the morning, went to work, ate lunch at the same café as every other day, always ordering the same turkey sandwich, taking the same route home from the building I worked at, made myself dinner, watched a little bit of television before going to sleep only to wake up the next morning and repeat the process.

Life was now as if I had never seen him.

For the first time in my life, I was completely confused about what I was thinking. On one hand, my mind told me that it was completely illogical to see her any more. It was unnecessary and only took away from the Kira case. The Kira case was to be my first and only priority.

But then, in the back of my head, something else was telling me that I would continue to punish myself if I didn't go and see her. Could it possibly be telling me what I thought it was? Of course, this voice in my head was new and foreign so it held no authority over the part of my mind that had always been in charge: the logical part.

Where was she? I thought, it had been nearly three since she left and after ten minutes, I had grown sick of sitting at the table in the lunch room. I hoped that she wasn't waiting for me there since it was beginning to grow dark and that would ruin my plans for us going to sit by the river. I knew she always enjoyed when we sat by the river and she said she wanted to do something fun for my birthday…

Maybe she was in her room, I thought, making my way through the hallways towards her room. I made it to the large wood doorway and was struck by the absence of the cheerful sign that usually read: "MaRiE's RoOm" in her strange handwriting.

I knocked softly on her door as I usually did but this time, I couldn't hear her shuffle about her room quickly and forcefully pull her door open. It remained tightly shut and no noise emerged from inside. My hand clasped the doorknob and slowly turned it, prepared to be scolded for now waiting for her to get the door or for her to scream at me not to coming as she was in the midst of changing her clothes. But she said nothing and once the door was open fully, I nearly let out a gasp, but I held it in.

Her room was no longer cluttered with her random junk but it was completely bare, a simple white room with nothing more to it. I walked into the middle of the room, unsure what was happening. There was no sign of her anywhere in her room, as if she had never even been there.

"Wow…" came a voice from the doorway. I spun around quickly to see a girl nearly my age peeking in the doorway.

Apparently my suddenly movement alarmed her because she visibly jumped and blinked wildly at me. "I just came to see if she really left" she said.

"She left?" I asked, confused and though at the time I would never have admitted it, I was frightened. She was the only connection to mankind that I had. Without her, I was a complete anti-social freak which was, for some reason, frowned upon by society.

"Of course, didn't she tell you? I'd think she would have. Millie said that she saw her leaving with a ton of suitcases and she told her that she was leaving ASAP. Apparently some rich people adopted her and they're leaving tonight, short notice, huh? But I can't imagine she wouldn't tell you, you are friends after all…" the girl droned on and on but after that, I stopped listening. We were friends, weren't we? Perhaps I had only assumed that by the amount of time we were together.

Then again, people spent a lot of time with people they didn't like because it usually benefits them in some way. That's what I tried to convince myself was what happened between us, we stood each other's company because it benefited us.

At that moment, I refused to care that she was gone. She obviously didn't care that she was leaving me here alone so why should I care that she left? It didn't seem fair.

I never had a friend.

But now, if what she was saying is true, than that would mean that all these everything was completely different than I had grown so accustomed to. I couldn't believe this had happened to me of all people. It had been quite a relief to not have to worry about other people or to have to spend time with other people. I was quite content with being alone. But why was I suddenly craving her constant company? It was unfair that I so suddenly had to deal with this when it was the most inopportune moment.

I stared at the security camera screen on which Misa was putting on a show of talking on the phone with a friend. The Kira case was supposed to be complicated, not my life, let alone my _love life_. It sounded odd even thinking it.

I absent-mindedly stirred my cup of tea with my spoon as I tried to focus on the case when I heard someone mention Rem. I also noticed that Rem had been gone for some time now and I was beginning to become suspicious when it hit me.

A sharp pain burst through my chest coursing through my entire body causing me to topple off my chair but the hard floor never came. I looked up to see Light's smile spread across his face. I was right… Light was Kira… but I had been too distracted with Marie to realize… Marie… what would happen to Marie if I'm not there? Will she be okay? Somehow she'll know... but I wanted to be the one to tell her...

I was in my kitchen, making myself dinner when I nearly sliced my finger off.

"Damnit" I muttered, as the blood began to spill from the tip of my finger, soon covering much of my hand. I grabbed a paper towel and tightly wrapped it around my finger before continuing to cut the vegetables with even more precise care than before.

Suddenly the phone rang causing me to jump, nearly cutting my finger again.

I walked over to the phone and answered it with a frustrated "Hello?"

"Marie!" It was Matsuda's voice on the other line, this alarmed me but it was nothing compared to what I already knew what was coming from the tone of his voice, "we need you to get to the hospital," he said urgently, from what I could tell he was on the verge of tears… this could only mean… "It's L." he said, "Kira got to him."

**A/N: No, this isn't the end. I know, I said it would end after ten chapters, but it wasn't really a lie since it was originally supposed to end after chapter ten but it got too long so I split it into two parts so the story should end after chapter eleven and the epilogue coming up to a total of 12 chapters. Please make it with me to the end!**

**R/R!**

**i.L.L. **


	11. Chapter 11: The End

Chapter 11: The End (pt. 2)

"Kira got to him." Matsuda's voice echoed in my head. This couldn't be true. How could Kira get his name? I didn't even know it and somehow Kira was able to get a hold of it? It was impossible!

"How?" I wanted to ask, but a more important question came out of my lips "Is he okay?"

Matsuda didn't reply for a long moment that seemed like hours to me. "Could you please just get to the hospital as soon as possible?" he nearly begged.

"..o-of course" I said, quickly hanging up the phone and abandoning my half prepared dinner sprawled across my kitchen.

I made my way to the hospital in a daze. This couldn't really be happening, could it? I couldn't lose him. Not now when I had just found him again… and this time, I could lose him forever.

"Marie!" said Matsuda with obvious relief as I entered the hospital to find him in the waiting room surrounded by several other worried-looking people who were waiting for updates on their loved-ones' health.

"Where is he? Is he alright?" I asked, urgently rushing over to him whilst he did the same and we met in the middle of the room.

"He's this way" he said, hurrying down a corridor that reeked of anesthetics. I took note of the fact that he didn't answer my other question.

Seeing him hooked up to all of those machines was the worst thing I had ever seen. A slight sob escaped me as I rushed over to the side of his bed. His eyes were closed and his face was peaceful. If I hadn't known any better, I would have thought that he was simply sleeping. But people didn't wear oxygen masks when they were sleeping and I'd have to say, the last time I had seen him sleeping was when we were young. The unsteady beeping of his heart-rate took my attention away from his face. I couldn't look at that face any longer, not when it was so pained though it didn't show it. She could feel it radiating off him. Shame. He felt as though he had failed and as hard as he was fighting, he had lost.

"…L" I said, coming even closer to where he was laying.

"The doctors say this is the most stable he'll get, it seems his heart can't recover from this," Sochiro said, I hadn't noticed that he was sitting in one of the chairs in the corner of the room, "but they don't know the L we do, do they?" he managed to say, weakly, "he's still fighting, he's been holding on for you."

Sochiro left the room shortly after that, though I didn't even notice, I was far too entranced by the look on his face. "L… what have you gotten yourself into now?" I managed to ask. He didn't answer, I didn't expect him to. "Why now, L? when I finally find you, you have to do this to me? You can't leave me, you haven't told me your decision yet! You obviously have no idea how much you mean to me, and I'll never know if what I'm feeling is requited or not. You know I love you, but to you love me too? You never told me and that's as good as you saying you don't and that's what I'll assume until you tell me otherwise. L, please wake up… wake up and tell me I'm wrong… L, I love you too much. I don't even know your name… don't go… don't leave me again! L, please wake up!" I couldn't say any more because I was sobbing too much. I could barely breathe as his heart-rate monitor changed from an uneven beeping to a single monotone. I let out a scream of sorrow. I didn't even notice as the doctors rushed in.

One doctor was able to pry my fingers off of his shirt and drag me out of the room while the others rushed to attempt to restart his heart. But all of their effort was to no avail. One of the doctors finally pronounced the love of my life dead. That was the darkest hour of my life and the doctors there may as well have pronounced me dead alongside him because my reason for life was no longer there.

Somehow, I arrived at home. I remember blacking-out grasping _his _cold,lifeless hand. I woke up the next morning in my house and once I regained my thoughts, I was more distraught than ever. I broke down on the same floor where I had sat with him what seemed like moments ago.

But time passed, as it always does and soon weeks had gone by. But time didn't pass at the comfortable pace it usually did. Now it seemed as though everything were going at a hundred miles an hour. Everything seemed to move so much faster without him. I seemed to be the only thing that needed time to mourn him. They say time heals all wounds but whoever said that was stupid and never lost the love of their life because the only thing time was doing now was making it worse since no one understood my pain anymore. Matsuda would call me each day after it happened to make sure that I was alright but soon his calls became less frequent and now they disappeared altogether.

I must be cursed. First Darrel, now L, I was doomed to have every person I love die. I often thought of putting myself out of my misery but I've always been a coward though I used the excuse that neither Darrel nor L would want me to do that. If I were braver, I would disregard what they wanted in a second. Nothing was worth pain like this. Anything death could whip up wouldn't match up to this. But I still couldn't do it.

Exactly 20 days after _it _happened, I was contemplating calling in for another sick day, I opened my front door and found that I had letter in my mailbox. It was in a small envelope with '_MaRie_' written in sloppy script that seemed familiar. There was no return address or even a stamp on it. It was a plain envelope with nothing but my name on it.

_Marie, _

_If you are reading this, it means that I must be dead. I feel it's safe to assume that my death is somehow tied to Kira but that isn't the point of this letter. A few weeks ago, you told me you loved me and I was unsure of how to react to that. Part of me (the logical part) wanted to turn you away telling you it was far too dangerous but I couldn't do that. I wasn't sure why but later it came to me. The reason that I can't turn you away is because I love you and I never knew how much until that day at your house. I love you so much that I hate myself for any pain I've put you through past, present, and future. But please don't feel guilty or angry and please don't hate me, I'm sure it would have been easier if you didn't know this but I felt you had the right to know._

_I love you, _

_L Lawliet_

It was his real name. He finally trusted me enough to give me his real name and it was the most beautiful name I had ever heard.

I clung to that piece of paper as though letting go of it would cause it to disappear forever. I could never hate him and as horrible as I felt, it seemed as though I was able to find comfort in his sloppy handwriting. Now I knew that he loved me too and that itself gave me the strength to live on. Because even though I would have to do so without him, I felt as though he would always be there with me as he always was in my memories.

THE END.

**A/N: Ended hopefully on a lighter note but I'll need some serious convincing (not to mention a plot) if you guys want a sequel. This is my first completely ended, multiple chapter fic (I'm mostly 1-shots or abandoned HPFF stories) so I appreciate the support you guys have given me especially my reviewers whom I believe deserve some sort of recognition so here's a list to all of those who have reviewed to the end (in order of review).**

**Keeper of Cheerios**

**Princess de la Luna**

**Saphiranna**

**Minny**

**Lb hi**

**pinkrolling stone**

**WolfDemonFelix**

**Miss Princess of Randomness**

**Leonie Lawliet**

**Junnina**

**zander herris**

**xXx13EMO13xXx**

**flor-desu**

**klspun**

**beamingatyou**

**Osage **


	12. Chapter 12 Rain Bonus Chapter

**A/N: People were asking me why I didn't do anything with episode 25 on here when the truth is, I hadn't seen it until recently! After I was asked about it, I Youtubed it and found it with English subs (I don't speak Japanese :cS) and it was SO much more sad than the manga! I felt that I had to put something about it in here, it seemed to fit perfectly with the flashbacks. So I've added this as a sort of bonus/epilogue that everyone's been so anxiously awaiting :cD. So without further adieu,**

**Chapter 12: Rain**

I could hear them. The bells were ringing especially loud today. I looked out the window to find that it was raining. I could always hear the bells more clearly when it was raining. The bells always made me think of my past. What I could remember of it, that is. But no matter how hard I try, I can't think of anything before _her. _

Every memory I have has something to do with her. I remembered the first day that I came to the Whammy House, only because that was the first time I met _her_. I don't exactly remember how or why I was there, I always left it to Watari to remember all of that. It didn't matter anyway. I now realized, she's the only thing that matters…

It's a well-known fact that I think too much. But when it's raining, I finally stop thinking and just remember. Remember back when things were happy and I didn't have to worry about being killed every moment. How long had it been? I've lost track. I've been so intent on staying alive, I never thought to question why I would want to. I have nothing to live for but life itself. But when I saw _her_ again, I began to remember back when I was happy and I know that I haven't been happy since I was with her. Even now, spending a few moments made me happier than I had been in years.

0 o 0 o 0 o 0 o 0

"Are you ready, L?" Watari asked.

"I suppose…" a seven year old L said, holding the old man's hand tightly.

"Don't be nervous, all the children here are very kind," Watari assured him

"I doubt that…" L muttered so the old man couldn't hear him.

After being introduced to nearly every child in the orphanage, L felt as though he had already spent enough time with all of them to last a lifetime. So after finally settling into his room, he locked the door and intended to stay there alone as much as possible. But it wasn't long until L found that he was hungry and made his way down to the dining hall.

L immediately passed on the main course and took a piece of strawberry shortcake instead. He had always been fond of strawberries. He took his spot at a table in the corner farthest away from all of the other orphans.

He was not surprised to see the strange glances the other children were sending him, but he decided that it was best to ignore them. He hoped that he seemed strange to the children so that he would leave him alone. It worked for the most part but it didn't keep _her _away.

"Hi!" she said brightly.

He looked up slowly at her, fork in his mouth, black hair falling in his face, "Hello" he said in his monotonous voice.

"Do you mind much if I sit here?" she asked, ignoring the obvious lack of interest in his voice.

"Actually, I'd prefer it if you didn't." He said, going back to his dessert, in hopes she would leave.

She didn't.

"Why?" she asked, sounding hurt by his words.

"Because I'd prefer to be alone." He said

"Is that because you're new and don't know anyone yet?" she asked. He was beginning to grow annoyed with her persistence.

"No."

"Then why?" she asked.

"Because." He answered.

"Because isn't an answer!" she said, scrunching up her nose.

"Because I don't like people." He said.

She seemed confused. "Don't like people? That's ridiculous. Why wouldn't you like people?"

"I don't know why, I just don't."

"That's silly, why would you dislike people without a reason?" she asked.

"Because I don't trust them." He said without thinking.

She sat down, much to his displeasure. "I suppose that's reasonable… but you don't know people well enough to determine whether they're trustworthy or not." She said

"So I take the safer route and assume that they aren't trustworthy" L said, very irritated with this girl.

"My name's Marie," the girl said, it took all of L's self-control not to say 'I don't care', but he remained silent. "What's your name?" she asked

L sighed. If giving her his name would get her to go away, he would do anything. "L." he said.

"Elle? Isn't that a girl's name?" she giggled. L sighed, this wasn't the brightest girl here, and if she was, his stay here was going to be _very _depressing.

"Not Elle, L. As in the letter," L explained as though he were talking to a three-year old

"L? That's not a name. What's your _real _name?" she pestered.

"Why would I tell _you_?" he snapped.

"I told you mine, you should tell me yours. An eye for an eye" she said.

"An eye for an eye… that's an interesting proverb to live by…" L said, "But as you may or may not know, 'An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind'." He stated back at her.

She pouted, he won this one (and this was the start of his endless argument wins against her). "Alright, here's the deal:" she said with a joking smile, "You tell me your name when you love me!" she said with a laugh.

But he seriously considered it for a moment. The odds of him loving this girl were slim to none. No harm would come in promising that, even if he did end up telling her, it was just a name, he could just as easily come up with a fake one to satisfy her. But that was much less fun than seeing her squirm in anticipation. "It's a deal." he said, before returning to his food.

Marie was stunned. That had not been the answer she had been expecting. But at that moment, she swore to learn the strange, raven-haired boy's name, no matter how long it took.

**A/N: Well? How was that? I'm sorry if it doesn't seem to really fit, I was just in the mood to write some L/Marie and I was too lazy to make a new story :c/ … so anyway, review, and I just might add a few more flash-back bonuses to the story (when I'm bored) ;cP**

**R/R!!!!!! (I still love getting those!)**


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